给重视幼儿教育的家长，尤其是家有小小孩喜欢乱打别人的家长

浩浩妈妈

进来学习 [M29]

星海明月

学习一下！ [M29]

taomama

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_5d2480850100c7pl.html
这是成都华德福学校的博客链接。里面刚好有个老师抒发对于打人孩子的文章。实际用途虽然比较少，但是解决小孩打人问题在于家长和老师的态度。
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爱，尽可能的去爱(2009-01-15 19:36:41)标签：育儿 分类：教学园地
爱，尽可能的去爱
樱桃班：速晨老师



一转眼就要到学期末了，经历了这么些日子，越来越觉得和孩子之间的联系更加紧密，那些习惯规则已经进入孩子的意志中，我们彼此都越来越自在放松。还有每每和家长的个别谈话，都让我更深入的了解孩子，了解自己。前段时间最深刻的感受就是关于爱，那些最挑战的孩子教我学会：只有爱，不停的爱和理解、接纳才是最完满的方式。这几天也在关注新闻，看到以色列加沙冲突战争，就很难过，就在心中不断叨念“对不起，请原谅，谢谢，我爱你！”，因为任何世界上发生的不幸战争饥荒灾难，我们的内在都是促成它的一部分，因为我们所有的人都是一体的。我现在越来越觉得，我能做的就是让我的内心没有争斗和冲突，才能帮助外在显化的世界是平和宁静喜悦的。



孩子教会我，在解决打人的孩子发生矛盾的孩子时，我所要做的就是给予更多的爱，因为内在缺少爱、缺乏安全感才会成为攻击的样子，每当和解完孩子们的争斗之后，我都会更加使劲的拥抱这个主动打人的孩子，亲吻他，我从内在深深的接纳他、理解他做出这样的行为，是我理解到由于各种各样的原因促成他刚刚的样子，是由于他感受到的爱不足够，是由于内心的恐惧和安全感的缺乏，是由于外界其他环境的冲击所造成的。爱，尽我可能的去爱，而这一过程也在我的内在同样发生，因为在这同时我也学会爱自己、尽可能的接纳自己、不去评判自己，让心越来越自由，越来越喜悦和幸福。



两个孩子发生冲突有时并不特别强调谁对谁错，因为有时我们并不知道真正全部的前因后果或更深层的原因，于是拉着两个孩子小手，抚摩小手，小手握紧小手：“小手握小手，我们都是好朋友”，最后再互相道歉。一次我看到其他班上的一个孩子愤怒的拿起小木头向另一个孩子摔去，但并没有摔到，我当时冲上前，就拉起他的手和那个要被打到的孩子的手，哼唱着歌小手握小手；然后互相安抚，做完出乎我的意外，他深深的扑到我怀里，紧紧的一句话都没有说，过了片刻他就满足的跑开了。当时让我的内心感到很震动，后来回想我感知到他那样要打人的举动一定是因为内在受到伤害了，而他看到我跑过去要来处理，一定是本能的害怕和紧张，老师要干预什么？当他要解释要说的时候，老师只是平静的，不带偏见和评判的让他们互相安抚和好。这样的片刻更让我相信爱是最好的办法。爱是全部！



如果世界上的战争也可以这样，国与国就像两个小孩一样，发生冲突和战争，都是因为内心的匮乏没有足够多的爱和温暖，没有安全感才会互相争斗，如果地球上其他国家都能带着全然的爱，全然的接纳，不去指责谁对谁错，就是在心中充满深深的悲悯，去深深祝福，去紧紧拥抱这两个没有爱的孩子，那战争定会被这祝福、这接纳、这爱化解。



我在爱的道路上不断前行，我感到内在越来越自在，我深深的感谢在这里相遇到的每一个孩子和每一位家长，通过你们，我在学着幸福的生活，学着放下和宽恕，学着不去评判，学着接纳，学着自由的爱，心开始变的越来越自在舒展，感到幸福，遇见你们真好！谢谢！

taomama

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_5d2480850100c760.html
是华得福学校处理相互打架小孩的例子
愤怒能转化成帮助的力量(2009-01-13 18:47:50)标签：教育 分类：教学园地
愤怒能转化成帮助的力量
Anger can turn into helping strength

星涵/文 鲍素娟/译



One afternoon, a child came running into the teacher's office and shouted for help:

“There s a boy lying on the floor of our classroom and crying heavily!”



一天下午，一个孩子跑进老师办公室大声叫道：“一个男生躺在我们教室的地上大哭！”



When the teacher came into the classroom, he took the hand of the crying and sobbing boy and put him on his laps. Meanwhile, various children were already telling him in different version, what had happened.

Obviously, the children were playing on the floor, when three of them started to change the dynamics of the game and teased the boy, who did not have the energy to withstand them. Then they started throwing themselves on the back of the boy, and the more he tried to defend himself, the more they liked the game.



老师来到教室后，牵起这个哭泣男孩的手，把他抱在自己的腿上。同时，其它许多孩子也已经各自在给他讲述到底发生了什么。

显然，这些孩子当时正在地上玩耍，然后其中三个人开始改变游戏的规则，来逗弄另一个没有力量反抗他们的男孩。他们把自己摔在那个男孩的背上，男孩越是挣扎，他们越是觉得有意思。



As from the perspective of an adult, this game is a typical way how children get to test out their strength and limits. If such situations can be assisted by an adult, it is difficult to say, what actually happened, if he has not seen it happen. But as the children experience the situation totally and only from the emotional side, it is sure that it also has to be solved on an emotional level. This means, the children have to feel, that they acted badly, and they have to feel, that they can also act beneficially, if they make the effort. Not the child is bad – his behaviour is bad! We have to let the child feel, that it can use his strength to act well and to help others. This also is the basic moral educative message within the precious „Grimm's fairy tales“, which should therefore be read to children over and over again during many years.



从大人的角度看，这种游戏是孩子测试他们力量和极限的一种独特方式。如果找一个大人来解决这个问题，而他没有见过这种场景，很难说到底会发生什么。但是孩子是完全经历过这个过程的，而且仅仅是从情感方面经历，那么这个问题也应该从情感的角度来解决。就是说，这些孩子需要去意识到他们做错了，意识到只要努力，他们可以用其它有益的方式解决问题。其实不是孩子本身不好——是他们的行为不好！我们得让孩子意识到，他们是可以用自己的力量规范自己的行为并帮助他人的。这也是《格林童话》中所要传递的有教育意义的美德，这本书是应该一遍又一遍给孩子们读上好几年的。



The teacher then asked the three children, who were said to have teased the boy to tears, whether they really did that. Two of them admitted it, the third did not want to admit it but the teacher could see in her eyes that her heart was admitting it too. So the teacher asked each of the three to come to the teacher's office individually. Two of them came and the issue was solved through exhoring words and a little story with a moral content. Then they walked up to the boy, looked into his eyes and said: “I am sorry”. The third child resisted to come to the teacher's office. The teacher told her, if she would not come now, she would have to come in the afternoon after finishing school.



老师随后问逗弄另一个男孩的那三个孩子，他们是不是真的那样做了。其中两个承认了，第三个不愿意承认，但是老师能从她的眼睛里看出她从心里其实已经承认了。所以老师再让他们单独的到办公室来谈。两个孩子来了，老师通过劝说和讲道德的小故事，问题就解决了。然后他们找到被欺负的小男孩对他说：“对不起”。第三个孩子不愿意到办公室来。老师就告诉她，如果现在不来，那她就必须下午放学后来。



After school was over that day, the teacher went to the playground and looked for the child. He only had to walk up to her without even saying a word, and the child immediately knew, she had to come now. But naturally she was complaining. As they came into the office, the teacher made her sit on a chair.



那天放学后，老师跑到操场找这个孩子。他只需要走到她面前，一句话都不用说，这个孩子就立马知道她必须跟老师去。很正常，她当时一直抱怨。走进办公室后，老师让她坐在椅子上。



It was very important for the teacher that the position of the child's chair made her to look at many beautiful things: flowers on the table, little beautiful stones or wooden items from nature. Through these things, the child's soul should certainly feel, that the teacher did not want to punish her , making her an outsider among the children, but that the child had to obey certain rules in the school as well as every other child as well. Concsiously, of course the child did not notice that. Instead, she wanted to make the adult do what she wanted. And obviously she was used to also succeed in this. So she started complaining loudely, shouting bad words at the teacher, stamping her feet and hitting the chair with her hand.

The teacher said to her: „If your mouth is saying such bad words and your hand and feet act in this way, I do not have to listen to that, you can continue screaming at the wall!“ And the teacher calmly left the room, so the child was alone.



对于老师来说，孩子坐座椅时能让她看到许多漂亮的事物是非常重要的：桌上摆放的鲜花，来自大自然的一点漂亮的石头或是木制的东西。通过这些事物，孩子的心灵应当会感觉到，老师不是想惩罚她，不是想把她和其它的小朋友分开，但她必须像其它的小朋友一样遵守学校的规章制度。当然孩子是不会有意识的注意到这些的。相反，她希望大人能纵容她的行为，而且显然她以前就是这样做的，而且也成功了。所以她开始大声的抱怨，用脏话责怪老师，用力跺脚并用手捶打座椅。

老师对她说：“如果你一直说脏话，脚和手一直这样的话，我没有必要去听这些，你可以继续一直对着墙吼。” 老师平静的走出办公室，把孩子一个人留在了里面。



It is very important, that whoever acts like this towards a child does not condemn her inwardly. In his heart he fully has to believe that the child can change her behaviour as time goes by, if she gets the right help from good educators.

To leave the child outwardly alone is not cruel, if inwardly she is fully accepted as she is. But leaving her alone will make her recognizing her own behaviour, because the child herself will feel it is stupid to shout bad words at a wall, if nobody hears them. And she will feel it is boring, if nobody is there to react to her screaming. So after a shorter or longer time, she will stop.



不管谁对孩子这样做，很重要的一点是他不能责备孩子本身。在他心里应该坚信只要孩子得到好的教育者的帮助，随着一天天长大，她是可以改变自己行为的。

把孩子身体单独留在那并不残酷，但如果把孩子的心单独留在那，她就会接受她当时的状态。把孩子的身体单独留在那里，能让她认识到自己的行为，因为她自己会觉得如果没人听得到，对着一面墙大叫很愚蠢。如果没人回应她的叫喊，她会觉得无聊。所以，她总会停下来。



The teacher then stood outside the office just close enough that the child could see him when looking out of the window. After about 7 minutes the child peeked out of the window, softly knocked at the glass from inside the office and said quietly: „I am ready.“

老师就站在办公室外不远，孩子从窗户就可以看到他。过了大概七分钟，她偷偷的往窗外望，轻轻地在窗户上敲了几下，低声说：“我准备好了”。



The teacher then entered the office again. The child had calmed down. He took the child's hand, looked into her eyes and said:

„I am so glad to see you back as the child I know, who can behave well and not scream unpolite words. You have to obey the rules of the school like everybody else, you can not hurt another child. Sometimes your hands and feet are doing things that they should not do. What shall we do so that they don't do it again?“
The child shook his head and looked down, ashamed: “I don't know – ”

The teacher said: „Each time I see that your hands or feet want to do something bad I will help you. But I can only help you if you also help me. I will twinkle my eye to you, which none of the other children will notice. This is our secret language, all right?! And then you know, you have to tell your hands to obey you, so you don't have to obey your hands! Before you go to sleep tonight, ask all the stars to help you too, and they will do it.

Then the teacher led the child to the door and the child left the office.



老师随后重新走进了办公室。这个孩子已经冷静下来了。他握着孩子的小手，看着她的眼睛说：“我非常高兴看到，我认识的那个表现很好而且不大声说脏话的孩子又回来了。你得像其它同学一样遵守学校的规则，不能去伤害任何人。有时你的手和脚会做它们不应该做的事情，这时该怎样防止他们不这样？”

这个孩子摇了摇头然后看着地，羞愧的说：“我不知道——”

老师说：“每当看到你的手脚不听话的时候，我会来帮助你。但是只有你肯帮助我，我才能帮助你。我会给你眨眼睛，其它人都不会发现。这是我们的暗号，好不好？那个时候，你就要告诉手，要听你的话，你不能听手的话。晚上睡觉之前，让所有的星星来帮助你，他们会来的。”



The teacher then called the parents of the child and told them about the situation. This is very important, because children can easily make up their own stories if they feel the parents are not informed.

Later, it turned out that the child did not even mention the situation to her parents at home. That shows the teacher, that the child felt, how he actually helped her.



老师然后给这个学生的家长打电话说了这个事情。这一点非常重要，因为孩子如果认为家长不知道这个事情，他们很容易会编造出自己的故事。

后来得知，这个孩子回家后就一点没提这件事。这就说明这个孩子知道了老师其实是在帮她。



The next day, the teacher taught again in that class. When the girl saw him coming, her eyes were shining warmely. There was no complaint or anger left. She participated very well in the class and even wanted to help the teacher as much as possible.



第二天，老师又在这个班上课。当这个女孩看到他来了的时候，她的眼睛闪烁着温暖，没有了任何的埋怨和气愤。她上课表现很好，甚至想尽可能地帮助老师。



Through this situation, the child has felt his strength, but also his limits. If we want to educate children – not only press a lot of knowledge into their little heads – we need to show them their limits. The rules in the school are necessary to help educating the children. For example: knock the door before entering the office; do not take other people's items before asking them; if you happen to hit another child, you later have to apologize and do something good to him. We try to educate the children like this, but unfortunately there are also parents, who do not act like good examples to the children and, for example, just walk into offices without knocking the door. Please do not do that! The school rules apply to everybody!



通过这件事情，这个孩子感受到了自己的力量，也感受到了她的不足。要教育孩子——不仅仅是在他们的小脑袋里装进许多的知识——我们需要让他们知道自己的不足。这些学校的规则对教育孩子非常必要，例如，进办公室前先敲门，未经他人允许不能擅自拿别人的东西，如果不小心撞到了另一个同学，之后要道歉并做出补偿。我们一直试着这样教育孩子，但不幸的是，有一些家长没能给孩子竖立好的榜样，比如有的不敲门就直接走入办公室。请不要那样做。学校的规定每一个人都须遵守。



Most children have lot of strength, but without direction. If children feel rules, consequences and duties when they are young, they will be able to act socially responsible and self-assure when they are grown up. If they never feel rules, they can also not feel the positive ability in them to obey these rules. This will weaken them, so when they grow up they will more easily undertake unmoral or destructive actions.



大部分的孩子很有力量，但没有方向。如果孩子们从小就感受到了规则，后果和责任，他们就能在长大后做到对社会充满自信并负责。如果他们从来都感受不到规则，他们也不会感受到自己有遵守这些规则的能力，这样的后果是当长大后，他们更容易做出不道德或者破坏性的行为。



Loving a child does not mean not to let him feel limits, consequences and duties!

The love in education is not the soft, romantic illusion from TV-movies - it is believing in the child's individual ability to act to the benefits of humankind and to help him to develop this in his own way, disregardless of the parents' or teachers' own dreams and hopes.



爱一个孩子并不意味着避免让他们感受到不足，后果和责任！

教育的爱不是像电视电影里柔和浪漫的幻影，而是相信孩子自身有做出对人类有益事情的能力以及以自己的方式帮助自己发展的能力，而这些是不以家长和老师的希望为转移的

taomama

华德福教育是联合国推荐的人智学教育方式。0－7岁孩子是模仿时期，这时期大人一起在旁做些不抽象的工作，（抽象的就是读书和打电脑），例如各种手工，种田，边玩边模仿大人的工作，来培养自己的意志力和想象力。连上小学的书本都是老师带着孩子去大自然现场做笔记，然后自己制作课本。全球华德福学校都不是以赢利为目的的需要社会赞助的学校。我国比较有规模的是成都华德福学校。广州的华德福幼儿园小学都暂时没有，这是我询问过的。因为这种学校的老师是需要另外培训，没那么多这样的老师符合资格。而且没有赞助资金，推行起来还比较困难。大陆大部分学校都是盈利性质，而且这种教育跟大陆的中学，考大学的链接是有些冲突。看过参加成都华德福学校的家长大多是比较有钱，准备中学就送孩子出国学习，不要在大陆被践踏。在台湾和日本那么紧张的地区都有很多华德福学校，甚至有企业赞助。这些是我查到的情况。
所以，在家的大人要是有个华德福的心来对待爱着自己的孩子，让孩子有机会养成自己的意志力和想象力，我觉得已经很不错了。我就尽量在家华得福给我的孩子。例如端午节，我们就一起了解节日习俗，来不及准备，就包纸做的粽子，用剩余布料做个香包。结果我一不注意，我女儿就在旁边偷剪了块布，上面剪两个洞，给她的布偶的手穿过当衣服穿。我顿时幻想她长大会不会变成LV公主（LV王子是指LV的最大设计师），变成世界闻名设计师？开个玩笑而已。至少，她显得很快乐，心灵很满足。